


A Day in the Life~ July 2018

by ERamos9696, happy29



Series: A Day in the Life [13]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-30 03:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 7,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15743496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERamos9696/pseuds/ERamos9696, https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy29/pseuds/happy29
Summary: Steve and Danny exchange text messages on a daily basis. Follow them as they navigate their journey together, juggling work, home, their own relationship. Each has their own struggles that the other helps them overcome. Every day is a work in progress. Every day is a new adventure. Let's roll into a new month.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mitzier1973](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mitzier1973/gifts), [ADAMWryter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADAMWryter/gifts), [Lozza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lozza/gifts), [lajpeck100](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lajpeck100/gifts), [musicheals_all](https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicheals_all/gifts), [Shoantell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoantell/gifts).



> This month is dedicated to everyone that has followed us over the last year. WOW!!! I'm still in awe of the following we have received. Thank you for the kudos, the reviews and wonderful feedback. It's not just a journey for Steve and Danny, it's also been a journey for ERamos9696 and myself. We have learned a lot about each other and ourselves in this past year. We have embraced some of our own fears, we have struggled with our own health issues, we have done things outside of our comfort zones because of the support we give each other. In a sense, this series is our own Day in the Life. There are crypted messages that Danny and Steve exchange that are really meant for our benefit and support. When I'm having a rough day, it tends to reflect in Danno's texting and she picks up on it without even having to ask. I love her. WE love you all for helping keep this series alive.
> 
> Try something new this month... share a story idea if you aren't a writer that you'd like to have someone write. Write your own story if you are a writer. Step outside of your comfort zone and take your own adventure. Nothing new ever happens within the confines of your comfort zone. I flew across the country alone for the first time to spend a week with ERamos for her birthday which was way outside of my comfort zone and it was the best week of my life. I began paddle boarding this summer and I keep asking myself why I waited so long because I enjoy it so much. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all are still enjoying the series. On to the new month...

 


	2. Chapter 2




	3. Chapter 3

 


	4. Chapter 4




	5. Chapter 5




	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

July 6th, 2018

10:00 pm

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind with so much going on. Sometimes it makes my head spin trying to keep up with this crazy life of ours. I will be the first to admit that a building falling on me yet again was not the funnest thing to endure but at least I was trapped with Steve who kept me calmish. I could have done without the bruised rib and Steve's concussion though but the week off was much appreciated and needed. It also worked out well that we could take the kids to California to Disneyland and we got to see Chin and Abbey and Sarah. God that little girl has grown.

Dealing with Rachel is never fun. That woman seems to do everything in her power to make things difficult. But I am happy that Grace is making an effort to spend time with her. Maybe that will help mellow Rachel out a bit when it comes to sharing Charlie. Who knows. She has been so hard to read lately.

It's that time of year again and even though the 4th is officially over, the yahoos next door think they can still shoot off the earther shattering fireworks. I hate them. I hate them so much. If another firework never exploded again in my lifetime, I would be okay with that. I can't be like a normal person and just enjoy the damn things. And Steve and I had another one of our not so great disagreements over it. I thought he wasn't being understanding enough, but I just have to accept that we have different coping mechanisms for the different things we experience. I love him.

Getting kicked out of court was not on my bucket list, nor was the bailiff getting all shitty with me, but putting him in his place after he told me he didn't care who the fuck I was made me feel really good. I know it put a smile on Steve's face when I stood up to the Incredible Hulk wannabee.

I'm not ready to entertain the idea of Kamekona joining our restaurant adventure. I don't care how much money he's willing to put into it. He has his businesses. This is my dream, not his and I'm not about to let anyone take it over with their ideas. Let him start his own if that's what he wants.

Date night was much needed. I love our children very much. But I also enjoy the nights when it is just Steve and I, even if it's for a few hours of 'us' time. Walks on the beach, hand in hand, the waves crashing around our ankles, getting the bottoms of our jeans wet. I love it. I love him. I love us, our family.

We have a good life, him and I.


	7. Chapter 7




	8. Chapter 8

 

July 8th, 2018

10 pm

I'm beyond outraged at Doris. What the fuck is wrong with that woman? Who buys someone a house where they grew up to try and get rid of them? Maybe she should try talking to her son instead of trying to get me out of the picture because that is never going to happen. I'm upset and Steve's furious and I could wring Eric's neck for holding onto this for so long and wring Junior's neck for pulling the damn box out of the trash in the first place. God, what a fucking mess. I'm beginning to wonder if we will ever have any peace where she is concerned. Steve contacted Odell and now we just need to figure out how to get rid of the damn thing. Because I'm not going anywhere without my family and I'm sure as hell not moving into a house that she buys. 

I keep hoping for some peace between her and Steve but after this stunt, I don't think that is ever going to happen. He got awesome inlaws… I got a whack-job. This is above and beyond the money she offered me to leave last fall.

I'm sure that Steve is scared even if he won't admit it to me that one day I'll get tired of dealing with her and call it a day, pack up my things and get the hell out of dodge and he will once again be left alone. Left by everyone that has ever loved him.

No. Never. My commitment to him is stronger than ever. I love him and I'm not going anywhere, except further under these covers because he has his hands all over me.


	9. Chapter 9




	10. Chapter 10

 July 10th, 2018

4 am

Holy fuck... what a whirlwind of a day. As if the house from Doris wasn't enough for us to deal with, I inadvertently came across some information today that just flipped our lives completely upside down.

I was cleaning out my filing cabinets, finally making room for our ever growing caseload. Jerry is the king of storage boxes and for some unknown reason has everything you need to store files, right down to the jumbo black sharpie pen to write the file name on the box. In my effort to relocate the files to a storage box, I dropped a few, sending the contents skittering across the floor of my office. I gathered them up, put them back in their appropriate file folder but one in particular caught my attention. It was from John McGarret's murder investigation. I deposited the others in the box and sat down in the middle of my office and began rereading the notes my fellow officers at HPD and I had taken over the course of the investigation. It was strange and seemed like a lifetime ago. John's murder is the only thing that brought Steve and I together.

I sat on the floor and kept reading and then my heart skipped a beat. I read the entry again, and again and again. There was no way. It wasn't possible. I pulled out my phone and did a quick google search, not trusting my memory of biology. I found what I was searching for after a few minutes and my heart stopped. I couldn't breathe. What the fuck...

John McGarrett was not Steve's biological father. It was impossible, given his blood type and Steve's. 

I called Noelani and asked if I could come see her to confirm. You can't believe everything you read on the internet, right? Wrong.

I struggled with telling Steve. It was going to destroy him. I called him, hoping that Joe was still around to help soften the blow. He wasn't.

So, I asked him to meet me at Diamond head... that's my safe haven of sorts and I couldn't think of any other place to drop this bombshell.

Steve pulled up and was immediately concerned about me, asking me if I was okay, what had happened, something with Rachel, or the house, the kids... none of the above. How do you even tell someone that the person they have known as their father their entire lives, wasn't technically their father? My stomach was in knots and I was going over the words in my head trying to deliver the message effectively without doing it wrong as I tend to do on occasion.

"Spit it out, Danno." Steve finally said when it was clear no words were making their way out of my mouth. So I told him, as gently as I could.

"Excuse me?" he said to me as he cocked his head as if he didn't hear me correctly. He took one step forward and I was worried for a half a second he was going to hit me for even considering such an absurd idea. He put his hands on his hips and took a step back and then a deep breath. Steve turned to face the ocean and ran his hands down his face and then over the top of his head.

"What the fuck, Danny?" he shouted at me and I remember flinching. All I could do was apologize. I explained what had happened in my office and I could see the fight and anger building up in him. A lifetime of anger in a few seconds was volatile. Anger at Doris and John for never having told him. Maybe John didn't know, maybe Doris didn't know. We would probably never have the answers Steve needed.

In a split second he crumbled and sat down hard on the stone wall that has been my thinking spot for so many years. I straddled the wall and pulled him into my arms and let him cry. Within minutes, he was inconsolable. I just held him tight in my arms. The only thing I knew to do. I felt like I had just destroyed his world and was worried he would hate me for discovering the truth. 

We sat there for hours, him wrapped in my arms. He said very little, just kept asking "now what?" and "what about Mary?"

I didn't have the answers. I didn't know John, only the stories I was told by HPD, Joe and Steve himself. And through what I had heard, I knew that without a doubt, that man loved Steve.

I finally convinced Steve to go home. Our home. One day at a time is how we would take it from here out. I told him I loved him and how sorry I was and I was here for him. I could tell the anger and confusion was still waging a war within his head and body. That's okay, I'd be beyond pissed and confused as well.

He was quiet all evening but convinced the kids he was okay. Not a small task by any means.

He began sobbing when we crawled into bed and I scooted up next to him, wrapped my arms around him as best I could and held him until he cried himself to sleep.

This one wasn't going to work itself out anytime soon.

 


	11. Chapter 11




	12. Chapter 12

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end piece was written by ERamos9696 fulfilling a prompt in our writing exercise book.

July 13, 2018

4am

I can't sleep. Go figure. Taking a sleeping pill last night would have made me useless this morning and I needed to be able to get up early to catch our flight to Lorraine's workshop. This has been one hell of a week. First the house from Doris that I have to figure out what to do with and all the emotional shit that unleashed with Steve, Mary and me. Then finding out that John wasn't Steve's dad. Wow. How do you even bounce back from that one? I would be devastated and my husband is. He's actually doing remarkedly well and I have a feeling he's just bottling it all up and is going to explode at any given moment. I keep thinking how I would react given my nature... it wouldn't be pretty. He's already endured so much in his lifetime, he deserves to have it easy from here on out.

I'm really glad that we are going to couple's therapy retreat again. We have come so far and I'm anxious for Lorraine to see our progress. And I want more of that soap. The soap is the icing on the cake as are those burgers. God those were so good. But most of all because I love Steve and am looking forward to holding his hand in that circle of sharing. Last time I just wanted to strangle him. I want to sleep in the same bed with him and fall asleep with our legs all tangle together instead of going to bed with a sprained ankle and being woken up by his drunk ass that forgot what ninja mode was. This time is really going to be about us as a couple and less about us being work partners.

Steve is still sleeping and after the week, I don't want to wake him. I want him to get as much rest as he can. He's the strongest man I know. He just keeps going, regardless of what life throws at him and believe me... he's had a shitload thrown his way.

I think I will wake him up slowly with some soft kisses, some gentle caresses in all the right places and then we'll go from there. I love you, Steven.

 

 

Save the Marriage

Danny and Steve looked at each other horrified as Faith continued with reason number three of why her husband, Bob ‘the loser’, didn’t need to be in the marriage anymore.

“-and if your mother hadn’t said anything you wouldn’t have gotten any that night either!”

Everyone stayed silent.  Faith sat back down and regained her composure.

“Well,” said Lorraine brushing her shirt down, “who did we say was going next?”

Danny was afraid to raise his hand, so an enthusiastic Steve grabbed it and raised it for him.

“Thank you, Danny,” Lorraine smiled at him.

Danny stood up getting a lot of encouraging nods from Steve and a big shaking of the head  _ no _ from Faith’s soon to be ex-husband.

“You’re welcome, Lorraine.”  He turned to Steve to start the exercise.  “Steve, I think we have great sex. I love our love Life.  I think you are a very considerate lover and I would not change a thing.”  Danny sat down.

“Are you serious!” Ben protested.  “You don’t see anything the two of you can improve on?  There’s no way! What happened to our ‘safe circle’?”

Steven had a goofy grin on his face and blurted out, “Sorry!”

Kelly chimed in with, “Lorraine, you said we had to be honest.”

Now Danny was offended and stood again.  “Look, we already told you guys, all of you, that we have been to this retreat before and worked with Lorraine-”

“But we still weren’t a couple,” Steve interrupted as he crossed his arms.

“True,” Danny continued, “but we learned not to go to bed angry at each other and we have had a lot of late nights-”

“Many,” Steved added as he did the imaginary math in his head.

“True,” Danny tired to regain his thought, “the point is, it’s in the communication.  We need to be honest with each other even when we don’t want to be. Because at the end of the day, we want to be a better person for each other, our children and ourselves.” 

Steve smiled and patted his husband on the shoulder as he sat back down.  Danny gave Steve an empathetic smile and then kissed him on the cheek. It would have turned into more had they not been surrounded by a circle of desperate couples.

“Thank you, Danny.”  Lorraine looked over to her group.  They all had disgusted looks on their faces.  None of them seemed to be buying any of what Danny was telling them.

Faith finally spoke up for the group.  “That’s it? You two don’t go to bed angry?  You talk out your problems? You’re considerate in bed?  You want to be better for your children, for you?” Faith rolled her eyes.

Steve’s goofy grin was replaced with a smirk.  Steve wanted to chose his words carefully. “Are you implying we are faking all this?”

Danny could see that his husband was going to say something he might regret  and tugged at his shirt so Steve could not get up from his chair.

Then Danny noticed the entire group nodding  _ yes _ .  This didn’t sit well with him at all so a tug became a push for Steve to address them.

“Why would we lie?” Steve asked up from his chair.  “Look at this man. He’s the best man I know. And yeah, there’s a lot more to it.”

The group was listening.

“We go to therapy once a week, and so do the kids,” Steve continued, “to keep our marriage strong.  Danny’s been divorced, and that ripped him apart for years. We were best friends before we got together.  I saw him deal with a failed marriage all the time. It wasn’t pretty.”

Danny was now tugging back on Steve’s shirt trying to get him to sit down before he told them more than they needed to know.  But Steve held his ground.

“You think I would ever want to see him go through that pain again?  I love this man, and I would never wish that kind of hurt on anyone. He’s taught me what it means to fight for your family.  To fight for love.”

He turned to Danny so he could make sure he could hear what he was about to say.

“Everyday we put ourselves into dangerous situations.  Getting shot at. Blown up. Infected with a deadly virus.”

Danny was nodding in agreement to everything Steve said.

“All of that means nothing if I didn’t have you to come home to.  And as crazy as all that is, Daniel Mcgarrett-Williams, none of it is as scary as the thought of ever losing you.  I love you more each day, and promise, always, that I will love you more tomorrow.”

Danny stood from his chair and reached out his hand to his husband and he took it.  He took his place by his side as they interlaced their fingers.

“Lorraine,” Danny had the attention of the entire room, even the guy in the back of the room filling the water jug, “if you don’t mind, Steve and I will join all of you at the dinner exercise.  I would like to take my husband back to our room and remind him what considerate lovers we are.”

And with that, Danny led Steve out of the meeting room.  Everyone in the group stayed silent. 

“Okay, This is good.”  Lorraine was having trouble finding something to say, “Anyone have anything they want to share about what we just witnessed?”  She looked the group over.

Jeanie and Maggie looked at each other and nodded in agreement.  “They’re hot,” Jeanie confirmed for the group.

“Oh, hell, yeah.  I’d do him,” Faith fanned herself as she spoke the truth.

“Which one?” Gregg asked getting a slap on the chest from his wife Katy.

“I’d do them both.  Both at the same time,” Faith answered with conviction in her voice.

“Me too,” Bob blurted but didn’t think it was loud enough for the group to hear.  

They heard.

Faith got up from her chair and started round two with, “I knew it!  You say those guys you see at the bar are just your work buddies, but I’ve…”

Lorraine fell into her own thoughts of how quiet life was back home on the island of Kauai.  She missed her cats. She wanted to start a new quilt when she got back home. 

She had to stop and focus on Faith.  She had to save the marriage, or at least make sure she wouldn’t have to call security.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A letter to Danny was written by ERamos9696 as part of a writing exercise and the Reply to Steve was written by happy29 because I simply couldn't help myself :)

 

 

_A Letter to Danno_

I know that this letter is supposed to be short.  Lorraine said that we were not supposed to take longer than ten minutes.  To write like we only have ten minutes. So I will get to it.

 

Danno,

You are the love of my life.  I will spend the rest of our lives reminding you of that.  You have always done everything in your power to take care of me and our family.  You taught me what it is to be a good father and a better man. All this you have given me without hesitation and you love me unconditionally more and more each day.  

I want to tell you every time that I felt that I wanted you as much physically as I had you by my side.  I want to tell you all the bad choices I was making was to cover up the fact that I never thought you would choose me.  But, I only have eight minutes left and then Lorraine will rip this letter from me.

I know that I make you crazy, still.  But Danny, I know how much you trust me.  This last time that I went looking for Joe and you said okay, I knew that you knew I would come home to you and the kids.  I would have not done it without your okay. Because, after all the years that we have known each other, I trust you. I know when you think I have gone too far or done something that was not a good idea. Okay?  But I understand now that you do all this to protect me, us, and our kids.

I wish my Dad (John will always be my dad) could have met you.  I am so past the I married a man thing maybe he would have not approved thing, that now that I am a dad too, i know he would have wanted to see me happy.  To be loved. And I am. Joe told me once that he couldn’t see me marrying a man but he saw me marrying you. He never had a doubt. He told me that when you called him when I was in jail, and you needed help, he could hear it in your voice.  He knew that you were the one that would be able to take care of me and the one that I would want to take care of. I guess in a way, you made Joe happen too. I mean, because of you, our kids get to call him Papa Joe, and treat him like a grandfather.  I get to see him as my father. I love that man, and you taught me I could love more than I ever thought I could.

I don’t want you to think I forgot about Ma and Pops and the entire Williams clan.  They are my family. What a family! The love I got from them, day one, was overwhelming.  That’s what family should feel like.

Okay, Lorraine just threatened me with physical harm if I do not wrap this up.

From the day I met you, you have done nothing but been honest to me and that is more than anyone else ever has.  I need you in my life to breathe. You make me whole. I want to be the best man I can be, not only for you and the kids, but for me.  I honestly believe that I deserve you and I know I have to be my best to keep all this.

I love you,

Steve McGarrett-Williams

 

_A Reply to Steve_

Steve, babe, love of my life…

This weekend has been just what we needed. Not that we needed a weekend of therapy to overcome our problems, but it was a really good feeling to be able to show Lorraine how much improvement we have made over the last two years. It felt good to be able to show others that if you put in the work, you can make your relationship work. Our relationship is strong because of how much we love each other and we are both willing to do whatever it takes to keep it strong. We have an issue, we duke it out and we move on.

You are my rock, my anchor and everything I do in life, I do for you and our kids. I want to make you happy with your choice to love me. I don’t ever want you to regret your decision to fall in love with me. Not for a single minute. I know that I am not an easy person to live with and know that I am working on those flaws.

You make me want to be a better person as well. You make me want to strive to be a better father and partner and all around person. I really hope that I am no longer that angry bitter person that you first met in your father’s garage eight years ago. It’s because of you in my life that has caused me to want to change. Yes, the kids make me happy, but before you came into my life and stuck around… this place was never going to be home. It was merely a pit-stop until I could go back to Jersey. But you have helped make Hawaii my home. My Home. And I love you so much. So much that sometimes I make myself crazy and everyone around me.

You’re always telling me how much I have given you but baby you have given me so much in return. When I married Rachel, I got her and that was basically it. Her parents were a constant absence except for that random visit once a year. I never got a chance to really get to know them or connect with them and maybe if I had made more of an effort I wouldn’t feel this way. But you… you have given me Mary and Joanie and Joe and this team of ours. Without you, it would still be me in a lousy one bedroom apartment probably still bitter over Rachel moving Grace here. You have changed all that.

You knew that your sister was a mess but you didn’t shield me from her. And babe, look at her now! She has her own business that she has built herself. Sure, we provided the encouragement she needed along the way, the moral boosts and a few friends to help her out in the beginning, but it has been all her. She is amazing and I’m so happy that she is a part of my life. Aside from you, she has become my best friend on this rock.

And I wouldn’t call Joe the traditional father-in-law, but babe, he treats me like his son’s spouse and not just his work partner. I love that man and what he means to you and our family.

There is so much more I could say to you but you’re texting me to hurry up and join you for lunch. You have my favorite burger and beer waiting for me. Thank you for coming with me, for being the best man that I know besides my dad and for loving me unconditionally.

I love you, Steve. I can’t say it enough. And even when I don’t say it, I hope that I show you.

Always yours,

Danno McGarrett-Williams

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

July 16, 2018

6am

I think I can finally breathe again. My daughter is not pregnant. Thank you Jesus. When I dumped her trash and saw that test last night my stomach hit the floor and I was certain I was going to have a stroke. My mind starting spinning in all of these different directions and future scenarios and I'm pretty sure at some point I lost my ability to think straight. When I text Steve to ask them if they had friends over and they said no, oh my God... I wanted to vomit. I kept thinking... where did I go wrong? I've had all these sex can wait talks with Grace and Nahele and yet I'm staring at an empty pregnancy test box in my daughter's trash. I can't even bring myself to look at the stick itself to see the results.

When they got home and we all had a sit down, I tried to keep my cool, I tried to be calm, that all flew out the window very quickly. The kids were a bit freaked. They should have been. 

Then the truth finally came out. The test belonged to one of Grace's friends. Again... thank you Jesus it isn't my daughter.

Now Nahele is pissed that Grace snuck a friend in, Steve and I are furious she lied to us, probably drove this girl in her jeep which is another big no no.

After an hour of lecturing, Steve had to put an end to it. I was talking in circles and I'm fairly certain at some point Grace tuned me out.

God... when it rains, it fucking pours.

 


	17. Chapter 17

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

July 18, 2018

9 pm

Regardless of the shit that unfolds during the day... chocolate chip cookies makes it all better. I must remember this more often. I love my family.


	19. Chapter 19




	20. Chapter 20




	21. Chapter 21




	22. Chapter 22




	23. Chapter 23




	24. Chapter 24




	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we decided to do a little something different with this day and got on google docs together and wrote a scene for the end of the day. It was an interesting way to create a piece working together at the same time. She would write the stuff about Steve and I would write the parts with Danny. I hope you all like the extra scene that we wanted to share because it was an important topic for them to discuss but not over texting. We have the intention to do more in the future. And google docs is an amazing tool! Being able to work within the same document at the same time from different parts of the country... I mean hello! Technology is so awesome!

 

The Conversation

 

“Steve, let’s go outside and talk. We can sit at the bar or down by the beach.”

Steve thought about it and thought differently. “I’d rather talk about it in our bedroom,” he paused with, “please. Okay?”

Danny stopped at the back door, one hand already on the knob. The need for fresh air didn’t outweigh the need for a peaceful resolution. “Okay,” he responded as he locked the door instead.

Both men looked at each other waiting for the other to say something.

“After you,” Danny motioned towards the stairs. “Unless you’d rather do this down here. Although, I really don’t want to wake Charlie up.”

Steve took his husband’s hand and led him up the stairs.  He let Danny enter the bedroom door first and then closed the door gently and locked it.  He wanted to gather his thoughts before the conversation went sideways.

“Why’d you lock the door?”Danny chuckled a bit nervous. “You afraid I’m going to try and bolt halfway through?”

“Don’t do that.  Don’t try to make this into a joke, okay?  I’m so confused with you right now. You said that if we went to Gail for the rest of our lives, it was okay.  Okay? That’s what you told me when I first asked you if we could go to couple’s therapy and then family therapy.  This is all new to me. I want to make sure I’m doing it right. I can’t fuck this up.”

“You are doing it right. We’re doing it right. The thing is, don’t you want to know if we can do this without Gail? Don’t you want to know that because of everything she has taught us about each other and ourselves that we can make our relationship work without seeing her every week? That’s all I’m saying. You’re making it sound like I’m just giving up on us. Like I don’t think we have a chance so let’s just stop wasting our time. That’s so far from the truth.”

“No.  I guess.  I don’t know.  What I am sure of right now is that we are doing a great job with the therapy.  I don’t want to change anything. I know this is working.” Steve sat on the edge of the bed a little frustrated with his inability to get his point across.  “I’m afraid. I’m afraid if we stop going then you will see that we can’t do it on our own, and then I’m afraid things will change…”

Danny leaned against the dresser equally frustrated that Steve wasn’t hearing him either. “Babe, don’t you see? We are doing it on our own. Everyday that we don’t see her, we are doing it on our own. I’m not suggesting we quit cold turkey. That would be stupid. But what about scaling it back? I love you, okay? But I think that you’re using Gail as a band-aid rather than a tool. I think that you’re afraid that you and I will turn into a Danny and Rachel.”

Steve reached out his hand and Danny took it letting Steve pull him closer to him.  He was standing between Steve’s knees. Steve wrapped his arms around Danny leaning his head into Danny’s chest.  

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Danny took a step back and lifted Steve’s chin with his finger. “You and I aren’t anything like Rachel and me. Okay? Get that into your big dopey head now. But you also have to understand that we are a stronger team. Look at all the shit we have overcome over the last eight years. Hell, over the last year. So, it just bugs me a little bit that you don’t have more faith in us. In me. Okay? No, actually, It bugs me a lot.”

“I’m sorry.  I am.”

“I see scaling back therapy as a win. We are stronger than we have ever been. And I swear to you right now, if we ever start to falter or zig when we should have zagged, that Gail will be the first one we call to get us back on track. Because I want us to be a forever as well. I want our relationship to flourish.”

“I’ve never felt this happy, Danny.  I want us to be forever. This forever.  Okay?”

“Don’t you think I want that too, babe? But like the whole thing with me asking you when we should include Charlie. Your first response was, ‘Let’s ask Gail.’ No. I asked you what you thought. I want to know what you think about it first. Then we can ask Gail if she agrees with our decision, not let her decide for us.”

“Okay, I get that.  Baby, okay. Okay?”

“Good, thank you. You know, the whole thing with my shoe wasn’t cute or funny. I’m not happy about it at all. I don’t want Charlie getting the impression it’s okay to ruin things and I’m a little annoyed that your response was just, I’ll buy you a new pair. That’s wasn’t the point. And one more thing… I should have told you this earlier, but I was mad at you on Tuesday morning about the walkie-talkie thing. I was trying to lighten the mood and be funny and you weren’t getting my joke. That’s why I grabbed Tani and left the office to go see Eric. It was childish and stupid and had I just apologized and let it go, we wouldn’t have been anywhere near that shootout.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  You held onto that little nugget and didn’t tell me that night?  I told you how bad that whole thing messed with me. And what, you forget to mention that?  So because I can’t get out of my head, you decided not to tell me that? Are you fucking serious?”

“This is why you locked the door, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“What good would have telling you done? You were already understandably upset. How the fuck do you think I felt? Huh? What if that bullet that took out the windshield hit Tani? I’m the one that dragged her along with me. Don’t you think I feel guilty about that along with the whole reason I left to begin with? Why do you think I couldn’t sleep last night? And yes before you ask, I took a pill. It didn’t work. Everytime I shut my eyes, the windshield was shattering into thousands of tiny pieces and there was blood everywhere... hers… mine. I should have told you and I’m sorry. But then, I don’t know, you made the comment about nobody told me to go running and I don’t know why, I just kept it to myself. You know and then Charlie gets the bright idea to decorate my shoe and it’s almost as if it’s now a joke. You never asked me if I was okay this morning. I should have told you I wasn’t, but me going on a run should have been your heads up.” 

Steve got up from the bed, not knowing which way to go.  He wanted out. He wanted to cuss him out. He wanted to run.  He wanted to sit back down. And then it hit him. Getting pissed wasn’t the answer.  He almost lost the man standing in front of him, for whatever reason. And he knew Danny was right.  He had dropped the ball. He didn’t want to start taking any situation for granted. “I’m sorry.” He kissed Danny hard on the lips.  “I’m sorry,” he said again. He could feel his own tears running down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He kissed him again trying to believe that every kiss was a promise not to do it again.  “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Maybe you locked the door so you couldn’t run away?” Danny kissed his husband back and wiped Steve’s tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry too, Babe. I know what all you could have lost yesterday and I don’t mean just me or Tani. I get it Baby, I do. Charlie and Gracie. I understand. And maybe that’s another reason I never said anything. Because I was being a stubborn ass, it could have all been ripped away from you and that eats at me every waking minute. Here I’ve given you all this happiness only to take it all away in a stupid moment.”

Steve remembered that feeling that came to him at the dinner table.  The feeling that everyone at the table disintegrated before his eyes.  It scared the shit out of him how he lived the worst case scenario in his head in less than a second.  That is why he had to excuse himself from dinner. That’s why when Danny finally crawled into bed with him, he wrapped himself around him not wanting to let go.

How did this man know him so well?  How did Danny know his thoughts better than he knew them himself?

“Therapy is working for us, Steve. A year ago, one of us would have walked out that door, probably slammed it and not come back for several hours. Look at the progress, Babe. Look at how much we have grown. Sure, we still do stupid shit that requires locked door conversations, but neither one of us has left. Neither one of us has backed down. We’ve both been open and honest. I may not tell you every little tiny detail of my day, but I will never lie to you. Do you remember the first time we met with Gail for work?”

Steve waited for Danny to finish his thought.

“It was a joke to both of us. Neither one of us wanted to be there but we sat and listened to her and gave our one sided opinions of the other and at the end of the day realized that sure we have flaws but we work through them. Neither one of us really wanted to get to the bones of our work relationship, but the more we went back, the more we discovered how to make things work for us and the more we opened up with her, the better partners we've become. I will be the first to admit that without Gail, we would be struggling. Not because we don’t love each other, but because neither one of us had the appropriate tools to deal with the other. Does that make sense? You’re not Rachel and I’m sure as hell not Catherine. Gail has given us the tools and has taught us how to be better communicators. We already loved each other.” Danny ran his hands over the top of his head when Steve remained silent. “Now I feel like I’m talking in circles.”

“I love you Daniel McGarrett Williams.  Always. Forever.”

“I promise, I will do everything in my power to keep our marriage strong. Because I love you and I’m not going to check out when things get tough.” Danny kissed his husband and then smirked. “Now, if you would kindly unlock the door, I’m starting to feel a bit claustrophobic.”

Steve walked to the door but stopped in his tracks and turned to his husband.  “Give me ten minutes.” He started kissing his husband up and down his neck walking him into the bed.  

“Okay, ten minutes.” Danny returned the kiss. His husband’s gentle reassuring squeezes on his shoulders grounded him and the walls stopped closing in on them. ‘Yes,’ Danny thought to himself. ‘Therapy works.’

 


	26. Chapter 26




	27. Chapter 27

July 27, 2018

7am

I love date nights. I love them even more when they go as planned. I dropped the kids off at Rachel's and then picked Steve up and drove up to Diamond Head in his truck. I brought a picnic lunch, threw some throw pillows and a blanket in the bed so we could get comfy. It was perfect. We ate, laughed, watched the sun set, listened to the waves, kissed, gazed at the stars, kissed some more. I love him so much. I told the kids about the date I had planned for us and they each wrote Steve a letter telling him how much they love him and what he means to have him as a part of their lives. They understand that we need time together, the two of us. It is different when two people have kids compared to when two people combine a family. I'm glad the kids understand.

Sometimes I still can't believe where we are now. I never let my walls down with either Gabby or Melissa, partly to protect Grace from getting hurt but to also protect myself. Rachel had done a number on me and I wasn't about to go down that road again. The thing with Steve though, is there never really seemed to be a wall, more like a trellis. He could see my vulnerabilities, my fears, my insecurities... I don't know. He figured me out, all my quirky traits, all the things that set me off, made me tick, kept me going.

I love him for trusting his heart to me, because I know that he has been hurt in the past as well.

We need more date nights.

 

 


	28. Chapter 28




	29. Chapter 29




	30. Chapter 30




	31. Chapter 31

July 31, 2018

10 pm

What a crazy couple of days. Never in all of my years as a cop did I think that I would ever have to worry about armor piercing bullets. The good guys are no longer safe. We might as well not even wear Kevlar vests to protect us. At least we got the guy, now to just find the guy who jacked his car. It amazes me at how ruthless the bad guys can be yet so stupid at the same time. This whole case has me beyond anxious. It makes me worry about my team mates, fellow officers, civilians who get caught in the crossfire and Steve a million times over because he's always in the frenzy somehow... front and center. God. Take a backseat every now and then partner so I can breathe a little easier at night. He has slowed down a notch or two this past year but he still is front and center.

And this whole ordeal with the fucking house. God, I don't want to have to go all the way to New Jersey to get rid of it. I want to go to Jersey but not because of that. I want to see my parents and my sisters and visit my friends I've left behind. I don't want to see a house I don't want. I'd love for Steve to go with me to take care of it and visit the family and the kids... but the timing just sucks. We have so much to do to get prepared for the new school year and Rachel isn't a whole lot of help in that department. She leaves it all to me for whatever reason.

These kids are growing up so fast. Nahele in college and Grace in eleventh grade, Charlie going into second... Steve loves every second of the chaos. 


End file.
